Family Values, Spirituality and Rituals

Of family values, spirituality and rituals, what is most important in the upbringing of children? If you answered "all three," you would be right - at least in my book. Of course, others have their own views.

(Why call them family values, why not humanistic values - yes, indeed they are humanistic values, but they are more often than not imparted in the family, and may relate to individuals as well as society.)

We need a balance between these three - and that balance is something very difficult to achieve.

This difficulty leads to "outsourcing" or "delegation." People don't want to teach their children family values themselves, so they take shelter in the so-called spirituality - "go learn what is spiritual and you will be fine." Even that is difficult for some people - they say - "go do the rituals, and you will be fine." Unfortunately, religion in India is full of these rituals, with no thought to spirituality and values, rendering these rituals totally meaningless. And there are enough people in India who peddle these rituals, creating cults around themselves. These cult-masters build a culture of obsequiousness where everything is outsourced to the master. People do what the master tells them, without regard to spirituality or family values or even thinking for themselves. The net is that there is much harm to the society.

Religion being the opium of the masses, it is the educated people who need to lead the way by showing balance. If they too fall into this easy path of - don't need to teach family values or spirituality, because rituals are everything, then you have to worry about the society.

Not every ritualist is non-spritual and not every spiritual person lacks family values. Clearly, there are balanced people in the world. And, we need more of them, not people who emphasize rituals over everything else.

Replacing yoga with rituals

Imagine you are at the gym, working out to the nice rhythmic music - whether it be on a treadmill, or even in an aerobics class. Now imagine someone coming up to you, and telling you that doing exercise is futile, it is the music that makes a difference in whether or not you stay healthy. Would you permanently stop exercising, and just sit down to listen to music instead to stay fit?

I would not. That is why I don't understand many "yoga" enthusiasts I have come across recently. They started off doing yoga, but soon replaced it with rituals and chanting. Physical exercise is always hard work, so it is not a surprise that people find short-cuts to it. But, don't they see that this is not helping them with physical fitness? In fact, many of these yogis are now overweight. No worries, the person who helped them make this transition tells them; this is called spirituality, and you will see its benefits in your next life. Works for them, and works for their guide, who they now revere as a Guru. Seeing them lap up everything that he says in the name of spirituality, the Guru comes up with more new rituals, and the followers continue to fall for it. The Guru has just earned a set of pseudo-slaves, who will do anything for him/her. And the followers feel good that they don't have to take responsibility for anything; they merely follow what the guru tells them, and they are on their path to "success" in life - not just this one but many lives after this.

If all parties involved in it feel good about it, then where is the harm. These yogis are harming themselves even if they don't realize it. But more important, they are harming others in their environment. Imagine your spouse running constantly to do rituals that the Guru told them to do, neglecting responsibility to the house, to their children, and the society as a whole. Sitting for hours on end, praising the Guru is their preferred way of spending their time.

My guess is that not everyone will fall for it. I suspect that this life-style is for those prone to shirk responsibility anyway. Now they have a legitimate way of doing it and feeling good about it - in the name of spirituality. In fact, their language also reflects it. One of the people I am referring to, recently moved across the country - because "she got a message that she needs to move." Then she moved away because "she got a new message." While the outcome is the same, this is very different from saying "she decided."

There may be room for spirituality in people's lives, but as a component of balanced life-style, not as a substitute for acting responsibly. I wish more people would start taking responsibility for their own lives. But, for some people that may be asking for too much.

Gandhi's three monkeys

Generations of children in India have grown up with these 2500 year old Chinese sayings popularized by Gandhi in India.

Speak no evil
Hear no evil
See no evil


(Image from: http://www.southasiaoutreach.wisc.edu/high%20school/gandhiDiscovery.htm)

Is this the right thing? It actually clashes with a poem from my high-school English text book:

THEY are slaves who fear to speak
For the fallen and the weak;
They are slaves who will not choose
Hatred, scoffing, and abuse,
Rather than in silence shrink	5
From the truth they needs must think;
They are slaves who dare not be
In the right with two or three.

-- James Russell Lowell (1819-1891)
-- 344, A Stanza on Freedom

It is time we start speaking for the truth - that Gandhi's three monkeys have ill served the Indian society.

Mystery Shopper Goes to Mumbai

In the piece Kurtis and Cattle in Mumbai, Financial Times's mystery shopper talks about her experience shopping while attending a business conference in Mumbai. Interesting take-aways for me from the article.

1. Prices of clothing at high-end boutiques are very high. She bought a dress for $300, another one for $95, Leggings for $35 and a kurti for $67.
2. All these were designer clothes - and she does give the names of the designers. Most designers of these women's clothing, however, were male. Rohit Gandhi, Rahul Khanna, Manish Arora, Manish Malhotra, Tarun Tahiliani. Yes, there were women too - Anupama, and Ritu Kumar.
   
3. She went shopping to a sari, but never bought one. So, Sari is no longer the symbol of Indian shopping.

"Perhaps they did not hate us after all"

The Financial Times of March 12, 2010 has a piece on Indian Art. Titled Face Values, it describes a current exhibit at National Portrait Gallery in London.

The article is informative and easy to read. What caught my attention, however, are the writer's musings on why there is a string of shows about India. Instead of paraphrasing, and losing part of the meaning, here is her direct quote.

So why, with all these exhibitions pulling in the crowds, do the British have such a taste for Indian art? The obvious answer is the fascination with the colonial past that all ex-colonisers have. Beyond that, we seem to scan these images for echoes, traces of ourselves, and are happy when we find them. Perhaps they didn’t hate us after all? Perhaps the enduring legacy of that time was a rich one? And perhaps this world is knowable, perhaps we can learn to read it, and the people who made it, and live well together in our own times.

Perhaps they didn't hate us after all? Does the current generation in India really hate the British? I don't think so. So, where is this "inferiority complex" coming from? I don't know. In fact, until I read this article, I did not even realize that it existed. The view from the other side of the fence is different, and as in this case, sometimes very different.

There is moss in them thar hills

India recently went through its annual budget exercise. Every year, the Government has the ability to modify tax rates and prices it will charge on products and services from public sector undertakings.This is very different from the US, where tax rates are considered sacred, and changing them is an extra-ordinary process. One populist measure for politicians is run on platforms of not raising taxes.

Both systems - virtually fixed tax-rates, and annually-changing tax rates create behavior patterns. In the case of the India, consumers and businesses may sometimes wait for the next year, hoping that tax rates may become beneficial for them. In the US, businesses build their structures around existing tax rates, and find it difficult to adjust to changing tax rates, or for that matter, to other conditions.

In these days of "Who stole my cheese," and agile development environments, who do we think is better suited for long-term successes - those businesses that are static, or the rolling stones that gather no moss?

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If you would like to read more on the budget process, here are two references.

If you want to understand more details about India's budget, here is a writeup on the philosophy India's Budget Process (in Theory). Rediff.com gives the stages of the budget process.

Born in South Asia?

At the recently concluded TED 2010, I met Chris Anderson, the Curator of TED conferences.

The first line about his biography in Wikipedia says: "Anderson, who is British, was born in Pakistan in 1957."

Recently I also met one of the founders of Danger, a telephone company that has now been acquired by Microsoft. A Caucasian, he said he was born in India.

These two were in South Asia, because their parents were missionaries there. Both are immensely successful. So are quite a few other successful Caucasians were born there. So, the question in my mind is:

1. Does their birth in South Asia anything have to do with their success?
2. Or, does their birth in South Asia have anything to do with their ability to promote themselves?

Or, am I misreading the situation, and Caucasians born in South Asia are no more or less likely to succeed, compare to Caucasians born in the US.

It will be interesting to have someone do a study of this.