Choosing Happiness

"How we perceive and respond to circumstances matters more than the circumstances themselves."

This is one of the guiding philosophies of the positive psychology movement - a movement which says that traditional psychology has focused on mental problems. This movement attempts to raise the happiness level for everyone, not just those with problems.

Since we can choose how to respond to any circumstance, we can control our happiness. And, since we can learn to respond better, we can learn to be happier.

This circumstance vs, choice of reaction to these circumstances is a recurring theme at many places. Stephen Covey also uses this to base his theories on.

The same theory is also a big part of Jain Philosophy - could be others too. Jainism says two things on this:

1. Circumstances are determined by your past Karma,
   
2. Your reaction to these circumstances accumulates additional karma.

This brings up interesting situations on how you react - you have many options including the following four. You can choose a reaction that leads you to be:

1. Happy at present and in the future.
2. Happy at present, but unhappy in the future.
3. Unhappy at present, but happy in the future.
4. Unhappy at present and in the future.

Presumably, if option 1 is available, everyone will choose that. However, if option 1 is not available, which one do you choose - 2 or 3. Interesting dilemma.

Recognizing leaders from other countries

Long time ago, during a visit to Mexico City, I was pleasantly surprised to see a street called Mahatma Gandhi Road in Chapultepec Park. I wondered if India too had recognized some foreign leaders in the same way. Given the history of involvement with peaceful affairs world-wide, I knew that India must have done it, but just could not recall any instance.

The question got answered last week. As we drove from the airport in Delhi to the hotel, I passed through Mustafa Kemal Attaturk Marg. Mustafa Attaturk is widely considered to be the father of modern Turkey.

Have Priests Gurus And Swamis Hijacked The Bhakti Movement?

People go to the temple for "darshan." They have statues and pictures of Gods in your home, so that they can pay their respect to God every day. People name their children in the names of Gods, so that in calling our their children's names, they are also speaking out God's name.

The same people also participate in havans, keertans and the so called satsang. And people have priests come over and perform ceremonies of which they know nothing about - either before or after the ceremony. Much of this is driven by priests, gurus and swamis (PGS).

Why?

Because Indian culture is big on Bhakti Yoga.

But, is this what Bhakti was intended to be? According to Wikipedia, "it was initially considered unorthodox, as it rebelled against caste distinctions and disregarded Brahmanic rituals, which according to Bhakti saints were not necessary for salvation. " Those Brahminic rituals have now been replaced by rituals prescribed by these PGS.

So these PGS have merely taken the place of Brahmins. Like Brahmins, they have become the intermediaries between lay people and God; this intermediary role is exactly what the Bhakti movement sought to eliminate. People blindly do what the PGS tell them to do. In fact, not only have the PGS replaced Brahmins, in many instances they have replaced Gods themselves. So, for many people, the GPS's word is God's word; there are statues of PGS in their homes. And, temples have been dedicated to PGS.

Maybe we need another movement - of how to reconnect to God without intermediaries. But people have to use religion in better ways. Just sitting and praying, and hoping that the world, society and human beings will improve is going to merely replace these PGS with someone else.

Family Values, Spirituality and Rituals

Of family values, spirituality and rituals, what is most important in the upbringing of children? If you answered "all three," you would be right - at least in my book. Of course, others have their own views.

(Why call them family values, why not humanistic values - yes, indeed they are humanistic values, but they are more often than not imparted in the family, and may relate to individuals as well as society.)

We need a balance between these three - and that balance is something very difficult to achieve.

This difficulty leads to "outsourcing" or "delegation." People don't want to teach their children family values themselves, so they take shelter in the so-called spirituality - "go learn what is spiritual and you will be fine." Even that is difficult for some people - they say - "go do the rituals, and you will be fine." Unfortunately, religion in India is full of these rituals, with no thought to spirituality and values, rendering these rituals totally meaningless. And there are enough people in India who peddle these rituals, creating cults around themselves. These cult-masters build a culture of obsequiousness where everything is outsourced to the master. People do what the master tells them, without regard to spirituality or family values or even thinking for themselves. The net is that there is much harm to the society.

Religion being the opium of the masses, it is the educated people who need to lead the way by showing balance. If they too fall into this easy path of - don't need to teach family values or spirituality, because rituals are everything, then you have to worry about the society.

Not every ritualist is non-spritual and not every spiritual person lacks family values. Clearly, there are balanced people in the world. And, we need more of them, not people who emphasize rituals over everything else.

Replacing yoga with rituals

Imagine you are at the gym, working out to the nice rhythmic music - whether it be on a treadmill, or even in an aerobics class. Now imagine someone coming up to you, and telling you that doing exercise is futile, it is the music that makes a difference in whether or not you stay healthy. Would you permanently stop exercising, and just sit down to listen to music instead to stay fit?

I would not. That is why I don't understand many "yoga" enthusiasts I have come across recently. They started off doing yoga, but soon replaced it with rituals and chanting. Physical exercise is always hard work, so it is not a surprise that people find short-cuts to it. But, don't they see that this is not helping them with physical fitness? In fact, many of these yogis are now overweight. No worries, the person who helped them make this transition tells them; this is called spirituality, and you will see its benefits in your next life. Works for them, and works for their guide, who they now revere as a Guru. Seeing them lap up everything that he says in the name of spirituality, the Guru comes up with more new rituals, and the followers continue to fall for it. The Guru has just earned a set of pseudo-slaves, who will do anything for him/her. And the followers feel good that they don't have to take responsibility for anything; they merely follow what the guru tells them, and they are on their path to "success" in life - not just this one but many lives after this.

If all parties involved in it feel good about it, then where is the harm. These yogis are harming themselves even if they don't realize it. But more important, they are harming others in their environment. Imagine your spouse running constantly to do rituals that the Guru told them to do, neglecting responsibility to the house, to their children, and the society as a whole. Sitting for hours on end, praising the Guru is their preferred way of spending their time.

My guess is that not everyone will fall for it. I suspect that this life-style is for those prone to shirk responsibility anyway. Now they have a legitimate way of doing it and feeling good about it - in the name of spirituality. In fact, their language also reflects it. One of the people I am referring to, recently moved across the country - because "she got a message that she needs to move." Then she moved away because "she got a new message." While the outcome is the same, this is very different from saying "she decided."

There may be room for spirituality in people's lives, but as a component of balanced life-style, not as a substitute for acting responsibly. I wish more people would start taking responsibility for their own lives. But, for some people that may be asking for too much.